England birthday
by UnhelpfulPanda
Summary: meh


England woke up with America lying next to him in bed. There really wasn't anything to worry about. He was not alarmed that they were both naked, either. That was okay, too. It was the fact that somebody was knocking on the door. Someone who sounded a lot like his brothers.

"Oi! Open up this door, ya bambot!"

"Lad, I've got half a mind to knock down this door!"

"I know that America laddie is in there! I'll kick yer arse so hard, Artie-"

"Arthur Elizabeth Kirkland, you open this door at once!"

"Hold Elain for a moment..."

"Baaah!"

England screamed in a not-at-all manly way and jumped out of bed. He grabbed his boxers, threw America's boxers at the rudely-awoken younger blonde, and dashed into the front room. He pulled open the door and narrowly missed Wales' fist.

"D-Dilan!" England squeaked. Scotland and Ireland waved from behind him. "Seamus...Angus..."

"Baaah!"

"...and Elain...what are you doing here?" England inquired nervously.

"Top of the mornin' to ya, Artie!" Ireland chirped.

"And a happy birthday too, laddie," Scotland added.

"Augh, Artie...what's all the yelling about?" America asked groggily. England's brothers grinned wolfishly at the two blondes.

"Don't you gaze at me like I'm a scrap of meat, you fools!" England shrieked.

"Come on, laddie! We're having a family party!" Scotland smiled. America and England exchanged glances.

"I'm good by myself, Artie," America reassured. Ireland pushed past Scotland.

"Oi! You aren't escaping us, lad! You're apart of the family too!"

"Yeah, you're a brother!"

"Well...actually, not anymore..."

"Nae, nae, he's a brother-in-law!"

"They aren't married, though!"

"Then he's a honorary brother-in-law?"

"I think it's safe to say so..." England glanced at America with an irritated look. America, however, was looking at the three older men with a gaping mouth.

"I-I can come to your family party?" He asked, shocked. They nodded and shrugged. "YEAH BOI!"

* * *

><p>"Temair, don't be such a killjoy!" Ireland slurred, pushing his face into his beer mug. North Ireland (Temair) crossed her legs and took a swig of her beer.<p>

"Not wanting to take my clothes off is not being a killjoy, so pog mo thoin!" Temair huffed. America was telling Wales and Scotland a joke.

"A Welshman, an Irishman, and an Englishman are about to be executed, even though they don't know why! The Irishman is strapped into the electric chair, and is asked if he has any last words. He says, "I am from Grace University, and believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on the behalf of the innocent," They throw the switch and nothing happens. So they all say sorry and release her.

"The Welshman is strapped down and gives his last words, "I am from the Creighton School of Law and I believe in the power of justice to intervene on the part of the innocent." They throw the switch and again, nothing happens. Again, they all say sorry and release her.  
>"The Englishman is last; he is strapped in and says '<em>I just graduated with a degree in Electrical Engineering, and I'm afraid you won't electrocute anyone if you don't plug it in first, you gits<em>.'" America, Scotland, and Wales howled with laughter. England took a big swig of his beer and

glared at his lover for saying such a cruel joke.

"Aren't you going to open you present?" England looked up at Hong Kong, holding out a present. He took it and pulled out a beautifully-decorated teacup. "I made it myself. Do you like it?"

"I-I love it! Oh, thank you, Kaoru!" England squealed, glomping the little Asian. Hong Kong's eye twitched. Australia was chatting with someone invisible by the bar.

"Don't cry, Mate! You just gotta get up and shout!" Australia grinned. "That's right! Shout! Shout! Blimey, Mate, you can't even shout?" He cried.

"Dude, Artie! Ryan is talking to air!" America whispered.

"_I am here_!" Suddenly, a little blonde came into view. He grinned at everyone who now had their attention on him.

"Who are you?" America cried. The blonde deflated.

"Canada...Matthew...your brother..."

"It's alright, Chap! They'll remember you one day!" Australia grinned.

"ELAIN!" Wales jumped at his sheep, but she had already run into the hands of New Zealand. New Zealand laughed triumphantly.

"Told you Elain loved me more!" He jeered. Wales cried in his emo Wales corner.

Suddenly, England flopped down into America's arms. "Take me home and do dirty things to me!" He demanded.

America blinked. "How did you get enough drinks to get that drunk?" America shrieked, starting to lead the Brit home. "Just mentioning that you won't be liking this in the morning."

* * *

><p>England woke up with a huge hangover. On the bedside table was a bottle that read, '<em>Aspirin for superheroes, giants, countries, states, or cities<em>.' England grabbed the pills, downed them with the water next to it, and whined in bed. America appeared in the doorway.

"I told you, Arthur."

"Shove off, you fool!" England winced at his own volume.


End file.
